For the longest time, I thought the world around me dictated how I lived. Work hours, family schedules, meal times, even my energy levels - these all felt like things that happened to me. But over the past few months, and especially in this week’s coaching session, I’ve come to realise something life-changing: I can set the rules.
This isn’t a story of overnight transformation. It’s a story of small, consistent changes - habits and mindset shifts - that are starting to build something far bigger than I expected. If you’re stuck in survival mode, feeling like life is dragging you along rather than the other way round, I hope my journey gives you a spark of inspiration.
Redefining My Relationship with Food
Let’s start with fasting.
I’d never considered myself someone who needed a radical change in diet. But when I reflected on my eating habits, I realised something surprising. It wasn’t what I was eating - it was when I ate. Like many people working in care or shift-based roles, my meal times were dictated by chaos. Often, I wouldn’t eat until 8 p.m., and breakfasts were hit or miss.
Through coaching, I decided to experiment with 24-hour fasts. What surprised me most? I actually enjoyed them. I wasn’t miserable or starving. I stayed busy, focused, and - if anything - felt lighter and more clear-headed. I realised that my body is more resilient than I give it credit for.
But then came the real game-changer: learning about autophagy. A Japanese scientist, Yoshinori Ohsumi, won a Nobel Prize for his work on how fasting activates this internal ‘clean-up crew’ in our bodies. It helps clear out damaged and pre-cancerous cells. And here I was, thinking I was just skipping a meal. Turns out, I was flipping a switch on some serious cellular maintenance.
When you realise that something as simple as not eating for 24 hours may help support your body against diseases like Alzheimer’s and cancer - it really reframes the whole idea of “giving something up.” I’m not denying myself. I’m healing myself.
Who Makes the Rules? I Do.
One of the most powerful mindset shifts I’ve had is embracing the idea that I make the rules. This came through loud and clear in my coaching session.
We often live like characters in a game that someone else designed. But what if I’m the one holding the controller? What if I decide when I eat, how I respond to work stress, and whether or not I internalise criticism?
This small realisation has been a domino. It’s making me rethink how I approach not just food, but work, relationships, and even rest. I can choose new habits. I can create new patterns. And the impact of that is monumental.
When Work Stops Feeling Fair
I’d be lying if I said everything in life feels perfect right now. My job has become increasingly overwhelming. I’m now the only manager on site, without the support I was promised when I took the role.
Most weeks, I work far more than my contracted 40 hours. I’m on call 24/7. I deal with emergencies. I solve problems. And I care - deeply. But I’m not being paid for the extra. I’m not being recognised. And it’s starting to wear me down.
One particularly frustrating moment happened on a Friday. After leaving slightly early (having already worked 42 hours), I got a call later that evening asking why I’d gone. It knocked the wind out of me. I’d given everything I had that week - and still felt like I had to justify myself.
In that moment, all the unspoken resentment boiled up. And to top it off, someone close to me made a well-meaning comment that didn’t land well. I know it came from a place of care, but it hit me hard and made me second-guess myself and my silence.
But here’s what I’m learning: I don’t have to hold on to every emotional jab. I can choose to reframe it. Instead of reacting, I can rise above. I can accept that they care, even if the delivery wasn’t perfect, and then move on.
Creating a New Vision for My Career
My coach asked a powerful question: What would your ideal job look like, if you were designing it today?
And just like that, the fire-fighting faded for a moment, and I saw a door crack open.
I’ve started writing it all down: what I was promised when I joined, the responsibilities I now carry, the extra hours I do without recognition, and what I need to feel valued, balanced, and fulfilled.
This isn’t just for my boss. It’s for me. It’s a mirror to see how far the role has drifted from what I signed up for - and a map toward what I might need to find next. Maybe within this job. Maybe elsewhere.
Either way, I’ve stopped accepting “this is just the way it is.” I’m taking back the pen and writing a new chapter.
Habits That Are Shaping a New Me
I’m continuing to build habits that support this new way of being:
- Daily mindset mastery is grounding me every morning.
- Cold showers are invigorating and symbolic - I can do hard things.
- Bedtime reflections are helping me tap into my subconscious creativity.
- Compassion for the 10% of my thoughts that still challenge me is softening my internal voice.
All these things are creating a sense of steadiness and control. I’m no longer a passenger. I’m driving.
Final Thought: Growth Isn’t Loud, It’s Consistent
We often expect growth to feel like fireworks. But real transformation feels more like gardening. You plant seeds, water them daily, and one day you look up and realise you’re standing in something blooming.
This coaching journey has been that for me. I’m not “there” yet, but I’m on my way. I’m mastering my mindset. I’m choosing my health. I’m rewriting the script at work. And I’m remembering - every day - that I hold the pen.
If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or under-appreciated - start small. Start with one thought: What if I made the rules? Because maybe, just maybe, you do.